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December 13, 2009

Monday of the Third Week of Advent

Suzanne Stabile

Father Richard's reflection opens with these words: "Can we care intensely and passionately and not care at all in the same moment? If we are seeking God's will and not our own, it comes somewhat easily. We do the best we can, but we are detached from any need for personal success or response. We can then care and not care in the same moment. That is true spiritual freedom."

Non-Dual Thinking is the title given by Richard for the day. It is a concept that is new but very old. I never heard it discussed until Fr. Richard started talking about it a few years ago. Since then the idea of both/and as opposed to either/or has changed the way I see and experience so many things.

In his work for today Fr. Richard lists some examples that are helpful for one who is just beginning to look at non-dual thinking. He says, "All great spiritual doctrines invariably have the character of paradox to them. For example, we believe that Jesus is human and divine at the same time. Mary is virgin and mother at the same time. The Eucharist is bread and Jesus at the same time. God is both three and one at the same time." Interested isn't it ..... that we could have been surrounded by this non-dualism while creating systems that are, at their very foundation, dualistic.

The Question: What are the seemingly irresolvable paradoxes in your life? How do you deal with them emotionally? Intellectually? Spiritually?

While paradox has not always been my way of thinking, it has been, for a long time, my way of being in the world. In spite of that truth, I had to find my own path to the spiritual freedom that Richard talks about in the opening paragraph. My route is almost always circuitous and therefore seldom easy, but I arrive at the right place often enough to be encouraged by the journey. My path to experiences of this freedom is paved with four mantras that I have used to teach for the past several years. I usually teach them in tandum with the Old Testament book of Jonah. But for this writing I will just speak to each one briefly.

1. Show up ... It is our task every day to show up for life. When presented with paradox some of us dig in. We grasp for certitude and if certainty is a necessity then it is impossible to show up for what is.

2. Pay attention ... We seldom pay full attention to things that are not as we want them to be. We are so set on our own desires and agendas we cannot pay attention to what is, as it is and often our habitual way of seeing will be dualistic.

3. Tell the truth ... Truthtelling may be a lost art. But if we can learn to tell the truth then we are on the raod to being able to hear the truth. As Fr. Richard teaches us today, many of the great truths are paradoxical. So I struggle to understand why we ended up in a world where black and white, either/or thinking has replaced what is true. Perhaps we have ended up here because we have grown so sure of ourselves we think we can replace the truth with our personal beliefs and agendas. That is an illusion

4. Don't get attached to the results ... This one is, by far, the most difficult for me. The big problem with getting attached to the results is that it is that the attachment is accompanied by expectation. And, as Ann Lamott says so well, "Every expectation is resentment waiting to happen."

In answering today's questions for myself I know what paradoxes are challenging me. I'll share one that I am trying to find peace with.

My work means something .. and .. my work is like one drop of water in the ocean.

All I can do is prepare and show up for every commitment I've made and then offer the best teaching I am capable of that day and in that moment.

Then I must pay attention to all that presents itself to me and take it as it is. If I am not open and attentive my habitual ways of thinking will color how I see and hear and we most often take in information dualistically.

It is my responsibility to tell the truth as I understand it at the time and then to be as honest as I can in acknowledging all that I do not know.

And then I need to let it all be, not attaching to any results, knowing that I have done what was mine to do.

In that context my work does mean something and I can allow it to be what it is .... important and insignificant at the same time.

Posted December 13, 2009 | View

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